


the best laid plans

by orphan_account



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, ignores endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wally is harassed by women. This is a normal occurrence, though this time differs because there is an engagement ring involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the best laid plans

**Author's Note:**

> Because Greg Weisman is an asshole. Look, we didn’t write the finale, but we should have.

The thing was supposed to be this big secret. Except the only thing bigger than Wally’s heart was his mouth. Somehow (and it wasn’t his fault--really), somehow everyone had managed to find out. Even Cheshire, which was weird in and of itself, because Cheshire had somehow become a part of his life after they saved the world.

Only one person remained oblivious to the question that was to be asked, and it was the most important person, so Wally was okay with that. Mostly.

“You aren’t subtle,” Zatanna commented over a bowl of pasta. Wally turned at the comment, fully aware that the women gathered around his small kitchen table were discussing the upcoming debacle. He followed Zatanna’s gaze to Cheshire, who was seated comfortably atop the kitchen counter, a smile on her face and a bowl in her lap.

“If I wasn’t making some innuendo, Artemis would know something was up,” the older girl pointed out before scooping a spoonful of pasta into her mouth. Wally glanced between the two--as well as Raquel, M’gann and Barbara, who surrounded Zatanna at the table.

“Artemis is at class. I didn’t invite any of you here. How did you get in?” Wally managed to keep his voice to a mild shriek. The group chuckled at the question.

“World class assassin,” Cheshire pointed to herself. “Trained by Batman. Martian. Magician. And I still don’t know what the fuck you do, but you look good doing it.”

“Thanks,” Raquel said, shooting a grin at Cheshire, “But back to the point. You are pretty much the opposite of subtle. You might as well be shouting it from the tops of buildings and wearing the ring on a chain around your neck.”

“Speaking of the ring,” Cheshire said, “where is it? Is the rock huge or what?”

“I am not discussing this with you,” Wally groaned, burying his face in his hands for a moment. “I should not have told any of you.”

“Size matters, Wally,” Zee teased, eliciting another groan from Wally. Around the room, the girls laughed.

“If she comes home and sees you all, she’ll know something is up. Please just go.”

“We just want to help,” M’gann finally piped up from the corner of the kitchen, spoon in hand. “Really, that’s all we’re doing here.”

“Look, sweet cheeks, while I appreciate _your_ help, basically no one else in the room is allowed to do so,” Wally decreed. Zatanna made a sound of indignation, obviously hurt by the inclusion in the group kept from the inner circle. Wally pointed at the girl. “Uh-uh, you can’t pretend that I should include you, Zatara. You let the killer in on the secret and you have a terrible poker face!”

“Even if I hadn’t told her she would have found out anyway!” Zatanna protested.

“It’s true, I would have. Artemis has been sending me texts telling me how weird you’ve been acting lately, because you’re the most obvious person in the world. Although, luckily, my sister is the most obtuse. Maybe that’s why it works.”

“Almost sounds like you approve,” Raquel commented. Cheshire made a face at the claim. Before she could dispute it, the door opened. The room fell silent, save for the sound of Nelson’s feet clacking against the tile floors as he ran to greet the newcomer.

“All of you get out, now,” Wally hissed, waving his arms wildly at all of them as though that would make them move faster. Seriously, his life.

“Hey,” Artemis said, unwrapping the scarf from her neck as she walked into the kitchen. “Why’s the window open?”

Wally whirled around to find the five women gone, an empty window and gently waving curtains the only hint that they were here at all. Besides the empty bowls and empty pasta dish in the sink. So great, not only had they almost ruined the surprise, they’d also eaten his lunch.

“Um, Nelson needed some fresh air?” he tried. Artemis crooked an eyebrow, but shrugged as she pulled off her coat. Years of Wally had acclimated her to odd comments.

“Whatever,” she said, kissing Wally on the cheek. “Where’s that pasta you promised me? Please tell me you left me some.”

Inwardly, Wally groaned, but he grinned outwardly. “Nope, couldn’t help myself babe, I’m just too good a cook.”

****

* * *

 

“That poor boy,” Barbara commented as the girls wound their way across the rooftops. Next to her, Cheshire and Zatanna laughed. “He’s never going to pull it off.”

“Maybe, but Wally’s one of those guys who will keep trying until he gets it how he wants. I mean, maybe he needs to practice on Dick--don’t say it Chesh--or something first, but he’ll nail it,” Zatanna explained. Beside her, Cheshire snorted, laughing to herself about whatever joke Zatanna had nipped in the bud.

“That’s a great idea, Zee!” M’gann shrieked, diving down to fly alongside the girls. The others looked at her quizzically, so she clapped her hands and explained. “A practice proposal! Wally’s sweet but he needs to get it right for Artemis. What better way to help than letting him propose to us?”

“...I really can’t believe you just said that,” Raquel said after a beat, and everyone started laughing.

“No, but really! Guys. It’s a good idea.”

“Look, princess, I’ve been proposed to by one ginger and it was no walk in the park, I’m not doing it again.”

“Didn’t you propose to him?” Barbara corrected. At Cheshire’s glare, she turned back to M’gann. “Look if you can get Wally to agree to this, I’ll do it. Anything in the name of love, right ladies?”

“I guess...” Zatanna said, and trailed off at the look that Cheshire gave her. “Look, I’m not saying that it’s a good idea, but he has no idea what he’s doing. His plans obviously need a more feminine touch.”

****  
****

* * *

 

“No,” Wally said simply. Cheshire and Raquel shrugged and headed for the door, while the other three started up arguments. Wally waved his hands wildly until they stopped. “I am not fake-proposing to two lesbians, my best friend’s sort-of girlfriend, a girl I used to have a thing for and _you_.”

“But Wally, it’s really a good idea! You know how to go through the motions but you...”

“You’re lacking finesse, Kid Crash,” Cheshire finished for her. “Badly.”

“I have plans!” Wally protested. “Look, I even have a diagram made up about this-”

“Oh no you don’t. You’d better not. My sister cannot marry such a loser. I’ll kidnap her if I have to because, no.”

“I think it’s sweet,” M’gann said, and Cheshire snorted.

“Of course you do.”

“Just test the plan out on one of us, then,” Barbara said finally. “It’s just a practice thing, right? No big deal.”

“Fine,” Wally pouted for a moment, eyes shifting about the room. “Not you,” he said, dismissing Cheshire straight away. “The two married lesbians are out by default, because even though I’m a male college student, I can’t even handle that rejection. And definitely no to M’gann because I’m sorry, that’s just too weird for me. So Babs, Dick won’t mind, will he?”

“Definitely not,” Barbara said, and smiled. “Okay, so if I was Artemis what would I be doing right now?”

“You’d be...hang on, let me go get the chart,” Wally said, rushing out of the room. Which was, inevitably, when the women left there started the trash talk.

“This chart thing, it’s too much,” Zatanna said.

“He’s too much,” Jade began, but before she could finish Wally came rushing back, sheets of paper and pencils and a bouncy ball in his hands, as well as a ring.

“So I was thinking, I was going to take Artemis out to dinner at Baumé, and ask her then?”

There was silence as they all digested this before Rocket snorted. “Snooze.”

“What?! It’s a rom com classic!”

“It’s also boring,” Jade said, leaning against the kitchen counter. “You’ve got to up your game if you think you’re going to get my sister to say yes.”

“I’m actually pretty sure Artemis is going to say yes,” Megan intervened quickly, before Wally could even open his mouth. “So that’s not going to be an issue! But okay, how were you planning on asking her?”

“Look, I diagrammed-”

“No,” the girls chorused. Wally looked affronted but set down the papers and pencil.

“Alright, so,” he cleared his throat. “No simple proposal, but no diagrams? What’s left?”

“How about the standard bended knee scenario?” Babs asked.  “You don’t have to go out of you way to make it special. She’s going to say yes, we all know she is.”

“Unless her commitment issues get in the way.” Jade added, and Babs just threw her a look before continuing.

“You’re married and she has way less issues than you. It’s a non-factor. C’mon, give it a shot. No stammering, it’s unbecoming,” Babs ordered, snapping a finger at Wally - who was still staring at Jade, as if her point was sinking through to his bones.

He cleared his throat, and grabbed Barbara’ hand, and looked her deep in the eye. “Artemis, I took you here to ask you something. I know that usually, I’m sort of bad at...asking. Like when I brought home the dog and just waited for you to notice, or when I just kissed you the first time, or when I showed up at your dorm before your mom and you got there and convinced your roomma-”

“The point, Wally?”

“The point is,” and at this point he got down on one knee and whipped the ring out of his pocket--very Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum-esque, “I love you and I want to be with you forever. Will you--”

The door swung open and everyone jumped, except for Jade who smirked.

“Oh, hey guys,” Artemis said, confusing written all over her face but not a word came out of her mouth, “what’s going on? Wally, why are you on one knee in front of Babs?”

“Um, I was trying, that is. Dick is going to ask Babs to marry him! And Babs found out and she wanted to know how I thought Dick was going to ask her. So I was practicing for him, so that Babs can perfect her surprised face. You know, usual bff stuff.”

“Because that’s what him and Dick-Wonder are. Usual bffs,” Zatanna chirped, grin a bit too large on her face. Next to her, Raquel elbowed her. Artemis’s eyes narrowed at the scene.

“Well that’s...nice. Congrats, Babs,” Artemis shrugged off her school bag as she spoke. In doing so, she managed to get a better look at the ring. “So have you been holding the ring for Dick?”

“Wha-no,” Wally shook his head fervently. When Artemis’s mouth quirked into a grin, he corrected his statement. “I mean, yes. Yes, I keep all of his important things--birth certificate, guide to shoe sizes, leotards, engagement rings, uh all that jazz.”

“Dick’s really lucky to have a friend like Wally!” Megan suddenly shouted from her corner before laughing too loud. Near her, Artemis saw her sister’s eyes dance.

“Wally,” Artemis said slowly. Her boyfriend looked up, hopeful and nervous. “Are you proposing to my best friends and my sister?”

“No! That’s preposterous! I would never propose to... Well, like a third of them,” Wally admitted. Zatanna nodded, obviously including herself in the third. Artemis bit her lip, holding in laughter. She crouched down beside Wally, taking one of his hands in both of hers.

“In that case, will you, Wally West, do me the honor of-”

“Artemis, you can’t propose-”

“The honor,” Artemis spoke louder than before, over Wally’s frantic words. “of marrying me?”

“Oh, Jesus,” Zatanna stage whispered to Raquel before throwing a hand over her forehead.

“Classy, Sis, classy.”

“Can the comments just stop?” Wally demanded, thoroughly sick of all of them. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “I can’t believe this.”

“Is that a yes, babe?” Artemis teased, leaning so close her nose bumped his cheek.

“Definitely a yes,” he said after a beat, and closed the space between their faces.

Jade started dry heaving, while Megan clapped and Zatanna and Raquel glanced at each other and began to laugh.

“And none of you are invited to the wedding!” Wally said suddenly once he had pulled away. “I had a plan, dammit!”

“Your plans suck,” Artemis informed him before grabbing the ring out of his hand and slipping it on her finger. “Leave the rest to me.”


End file.
